HOw important is a name? Does my step son get picked on because he has a girls name?

I do not understand why my husband and his 1st wife named there son a girls name, but they did. He is now 13 and for the past 3 years he has been picked on in school for just about everything, I personally think it has to do with him having a girls name. I read that things like that happen, kids get judeged because of there names. He is also a big kid, about 100 lbs over weight (nothing I can do about it, no one listens to me when it comes to his eating habits) but I think if he had a manly name that he would be more successfull in many things, what do you think??

HOw important is a name? Does my step son get picked on because he has a girls name?
I'm a step mom too and my step son is also over weight. if you are serious about him being that much over weight that is crazy y'all need to get him help fast, if he isn't already diabetic then he WELL be soon. if not that then he heart will b shot before he is 25 that should be your and in other parents many concern. that's probably why he gets picked on + you didn't even tell us the name so i could tell ya what i think.
Reply:I think you are the one with the problem if you think big is 13 and over 100 lbs. What is his name? He is probably just a sissy or acts like someone who can't or won't stand up for himeself. I really doubt it has to do with his name.
Reply:Well when you hear of someone named, I don't know, um Eugene, do you think of a young good looking jock? Or do you think of an old man? What about Elmer? Smart, fun, everyone loves? Or a creepy janitor? People judge a lot about others by their name.
Reply:I went to school with a guy named Ashley and he did not get picked on. Maybe if he stood up for his self more and got into a little better shape he would feel better about himself. Also if he has good role models that take up time with him he would be more successful in his endeavours.
Reply:i think he gets picked on because he has a girls name and he is over weight.. talk to his dad about his eating habbits and start cooking healthy meals for him
Reply:Tell us the name! Is it really a girls name, or is it an original boys name that the girls have "taken over" such as Ashley, Leslie, Shannon, etc?





Names can cause teasing, of course. That's obvious, but they don't cause a child to be mercilessly teased for everything. It sounds like your son is dealing with bullies, who, at this point, are probably teasing him out of habit, and not specifically because of one thing (his name or weight).





I would recommend speaking with his teachers or guidance counselor, he should not have to put up with teasing in school. 13 is too old for kids to be teasing, they know better and should be spoken to before they hurt any other children's feelings. Bullying is a serious issue that deserves a harsher punishment than it usually gets.





Also, not to pick on you, but I hope you are aware of how dangerous your son's weight issue is, both physically and mentally. No one listens to you? Your husband ignores you? I doubt that. Stop buying junk food, serve healthier meals, and get your son into some sports or activities to keep him busy. Not only will his weight loss be good for his body, but I'm sure it will help his self esteem and stop some of the teasing.





Good luck to you and your family.
Reply:kids are cruel about many things, his name for starters and being that much overweight.... take him to a doctor and have him tell your husband the kid is morbidly obese, if he loves his son, he will want him at a healthy weight
Reply:I agree. I read about a serial killer named Girly Crum. That explains a lot!
Reply:There are many unisex names; some are used more for boys than girls, and others more for girls than boys.





I don't mean to sound unkind, but without knowing the name (I mean, is it REALLY bad?!), my first inclination would be to suspect that your stepson is picked on because of his size, not **because** of his name. I would guess that they use his name as a means of picking on him because of his size. In other words, even if he had another name, they'd probably still pick on him - they just wouldn't pick on him about his name.





The other thing is that he doesn't have to use his girly-sounding name - he could go by a nickname or his middle name, or if he really hates his first name, he can change it legally when he's an adult. But his weight issue cannot be so easily remedied or hidden, and his size will most likely inhibit his future success, if only because (I'm guessing) that he's very shy and withdrawn because of it.





The biggest gift you could give him would be to help him get his weight under control. Talk to your husband about your concerns. There might not be anything you can do to change the way the child's mom handles the issue, but you should be able to persuade your husband to see reason.





Good luck to you both.
Reply:It depends on the name......what it it?
Reply:The name might not be doing him any favors, but odds are there's more at play. If your boy named Sue was an all-star athlete, chances are the name would be less of an issue. (Remember the military guy, Kelly, who won Trump's Apprentice early on? Doubt he took a lot of teasing for having a girl's name.) But at 100 pounds overweight? Yikes. As stepmom you might not be directly responsible, but anything you can do to help improve his health will probably have a positive impact on his self-esteem ... and that can only help him survive the rough teen years.
Reply:Awe, yes.. it is very unfortunate but I do agree with you... a name is judged and if he had a more manly name it might have spared him this trouble.. I'm sorry.
Reply:It could be because of his name, what is it? Or it could be because of his weight, you mentioned he is significantly over weight. At his age, kids are mean and will find something, anything to make fun of. I know your hands are tied as his step mom, but try your best to build his self-confidence and encourage him. Maybe you could suggest to him better eating and exercising habits for health reasons or as something new to try, don't make him feel "fat". Ask him to play ball with you or go for a walk. As far as his name, there is nothing you or he can do about it now, just don't let him hear you say he has a girly name.





Eharrah1: Reread the question, 13 and big at 100lbs OVER weight, not weighs 100lbs.
Reply:is the name like kelly or something. and if they liked the name who cares about what the other kids think they will get over it
Reply:Despite so many people wanting 'unique' names, kids really just want to fit in.





Your poor stepson has a double whammy. Overweight and a girl's name.





Try to find a nickname that suits him but don't go oveboard in the 'manliness'. Something like Brock (while it can be a fine name) would be seen as too much of an attempt. Other alternatives include using the male version of his name or having him go by his middle name.





And please do something about his weight. An obese child is faced with tons of health problems. Even if you feel mean by helping to modify his diet and exercise, remember that you are doing it for HIS current and future well-being .
Reply:Ask him to pick a nickname. Then, from now on, call him by his preferred name. It stops being an issue then.





I worked with guys who had male names that were feminized including Leslie (Les), Marilyn, and Kelly. It wasn't a problem as adults, but Marilyn legally changed his name at 34 to the nickname he'd decided on at 11.
Reply:What's his name? Maybe they wanted him to grow up tough like 'the boy named sue' ridiculous I know.
Reply:when i named my son kelly jr, his dad and my man, kelly told me he'll probably be made fun of....i know kelly is supposed to be a unisex name but he used to get made fun of when he was little cuz when we hear the name kelly we think girl.....so in other words, yes he probably gets picked on for his name and he probably would get picked on even if he wasn't overweight but his success has nothing to do with his name not being manly.....my boyfriend is very manly and is named kelly.....he is also very successful, its more of a mind over matter thing....teach him how to deal with it and how to be tough b/c kids are gonna be kids no matter what and even if his name was steve and he was the ideal weight for his height and age he would still be picked on for other things.....kids are gonna find something to make fun of him for, his clothes are one example but really anything they can think of they will pick on him about no matter what, thats a kid for you. there's really nothing u can do but try to help him cope with it and if he with him being obese, someone really needs to listen to u b/c u r in the right on that one!! :-) hope everything works out
Reply:i think that a name is very important because it is something that you have to live with for the rest of your life so maybe when you are considering a name you should take your time and not rush in to picking a name just to get it done with.
Reply:What's his name? It's not a name, but a personality (or lack thereof) that causes people to pick on a person.... It's not right, but unfortunately that's the way it is.
Reply:one you said he is over weight and that is probably why


kids can be very very cruel and you said that noone ever listins to you sit down and tell your husband look i am worried about (kids name) we can workout with him as a familey thay also have camps in the summer know it dont have to be a fat camp you know if his name is ashley start calling him ash think of a cool nickname for him and is there anythin that he is good at band art etc get him involved with some kind of group like that
Reply:What is his name? Ashley?
Reply:A lot of names "became" girl's names in the 60's...just by pure magic or trend I dunno....my country club is full of older guys named "Ashley", "Hedley", "Leslie", "Sydney", "Courtney" etc the list goes on...





Kids will make fun of the kids who have no self confidence. Just because he's big and could probably defend himself, doesn't make him tough against emotional bullies.





If he changed his name it'd just be something else, if he lost weight it'd be something else, if he got better clothes it'd be something else...etc.





A name doesn't make you successful, confidence does. He's 13 and 100lbs overweight...and you can't do anything about what he eats? Let me rewind...HE"S THIRTEEN!!!!!!! Take him to a doctor and get it sorted out...he could just be naturally large...enroll him in a sport (figure out his favorite sport...he'd be good at football given his size) so he's more active.





The socialization skills learned while playing sports coupled with the extra activity will help him get healthy (with respect to stamina and endurance...not necessarily a weight loss issue...sports training also helps with dicipline) as well as gain self confidence.





hope that helps





*cheers*
Reply:He's overweight AND he has a girly name? Ouch.
Reply:First, you should be concerned about his weight. Children only learn their eating habits when they are growing up. Then when they become older and on their own they will make the same decions. So he has a very high chance as of now being always over weight and never picking the right food because his parents didn't teach him right.


Second, a name is a hard thing because that give kids the first thing to pick on someone about. It really has nothing to do with his name it just gives them something to pick on. It probally mostly his weight. Also, as he gets older he could have a nick name. That might make him feel better.


Also, always remember, I grew up with a step mom and you can never fill the place of his real mom. So make sure you always treat him with respect and love and make sure to never yell at him or tell him what you think, only tell your husband. And from that you will always have a good relationship with him.


good luck to your step son and I will pray for him!
Reply:ya is it ashley? because i think thats cute. but unless hes some huge jock, ppl are gonna mess with him. and yes at least u i guess made an attemp to help with his eating habits. and i dont mean to be mean but he shouldnt complain if hes not trying to change his eating habits. im sure thats also why he gets picked on. but ive seen some kids who kill themselves from being picked on, so uh i guess just be careful
Reply:what's his name
Reply:His name isn't half so important as his weight, which not only makes him a target regardless of what he is named, but is killing him. Unless you wish your stepson to die you'd better by-gosh find a way to do something about it.





If the minor matter of his name bothers you, find a masculine nickname for him to go by.
Reply:I can't say...what's the name?
Reply:Well, you didn't give his name, so I'm assuming it's a definitely feminine name. That, along with being extremely overweight, probably is going to make his high school years miserable because no matter what, there's always the kids who think they're superior to everyone else and that it's their job to make sure everyone else is aware of their personal flaws. Is he an athlete? Is he tall as well as big? Football teams need some pretty big boys sometimes so maybe that would be a way to help him. For some reason, football=popularity in high school, no matter who you are. You didn't say if he lived with you, but if he does then there is something you can do about his diet. Take control and resist any efforts to undermine your attempt at better health. Could he go by his middle name or maybe initials? How about a nickname? Whatever happens, it sounds like you care very much for him and that is going to be the biggest help for him in the coming years. Good luck.
Reply:whats the name?


Kids are mean.Especially if he's overweight and has a girl name.Try going by something else like Sean,Kyle,Brandon,switch his name!